"Lucky" - Short film

[Kiltman]

Well, I've finished the script for, and am about to start filming (hopefully) a short film for my school's film festival. It started out with only one scene, but then evolved into a only slightly longer but actually more depressing little piece. Anyway, I was going for a more somber tone with it concerning the loss of innocence, how people change, and how you don't always get what you want out of life. Here's the script if you care to read it, I would love to have some criticism (I'm fairly sure it's not formatted perfectly at least). Sorry if it's not as funny as most independent films, lol. I was up late listening to Pink Floyd's Division Bell and it just sort of came out of me.

[next-tarantino]

Looks good. I honestly can't wait to see the final product.

One thing though, when you say things in the script like "will use jib arm for wide, sweeping shots," that's a bit unnecessary. I don't need to read about what it's going to look like, that's what a shot list is for.

Other than that, good job, and best of luck to you.

[SteveNelson'sEvilTwin]

Great job. I agree with what next said, but if you are directing the film yourself, its not really a huge deal. I really enjoyed the script, but at times it swayed to the side of sappy, but if you have talented actors who can pull it off, then it is fine. I was just warning you that it has the potential to sound saccharine and unrealistic if not executed properly. Just something to think about during the production stage.
I know this is a bit early, but what music do you plan on using? If you know someone who would help score it for you, putting very small, as you said "barely recognizable" hints of "Over the Rainbow," that could really bring an overall sense of unity to the project.

Really good script though, I look forward to your finished product.

Also, do not apologize for making a serious somber indie film. We can't have just comedy, otherwise it would be monotony.

[Kiltman]

Well, I spent a good 4 hours filming today. Even got to use my shiny new Indy mogul-brand Jib arm and everything! What happened to the footage? All gone! What wasn't fried by my shitty camcorder had a loud hissing sound that drowned out all the audio even after I captured it. Not to mention half the footage didn't even record right. Awesome. Not very Lucky, huh?

[17thletterfilms]

XD I have a film entitled "Lucky". Not at all like yours, though!

[SteveNelson'sEvilTwin]

Well, I spent a good 4 hours filming today. Even got to use my shiny new Indy mogul-brand Jib arm and everything! What happened to the footage? All gone! What wasn't fried by my shitty camcorder had a loud hissing sound that drowned out all the audio even after I captured it. Not to mention half the footage didn't even record right. Awesome. Not very Lucky, huh?

Man, that really sucks! I am really bummed now, I was quite looking forward to this film, I really enjoyed your script. Will you reshoot?

[Kiltman]

oh yes, definitely. It's just a matter of getting the camera's heads cleaned I discovered. We've used countless different tape brands, so that's probably the cause. I'm going to need to get a mic attachment though.

Anyway, if you're interested, I managed to save some of the opening scene. Didn't get the shots I wanted and the audio is terrible, but at least it gives me an idea on what to do better.
http://hs.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=6946842881

[Kiltman]

Well, unfortunately, most of my actors have become to busy to finish filming this little project, not to mention the total lack of a camera. Sadly, I was only able to salvage the first scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SmlF9KLyn0

Anyway, I don't think it'll get finished. Oh well, such is life. I've got a different project going anyway, one that'll be much easier and shorter.

[SteveNelson'sEvilTwin]

Suckity. I would say keep the script for a later date though. Keep making movies, and better luck next time.