Script One Section at a Time

[MiniMogul27]

This is a varient of the 'New story one sentence at a time' topic seen at some other forums. Basically each person posts a section of script which is composed of: action, character, dialogue, parenthical, and possibly something else. Ideally it should be in semi-proper format.
:)
Joe walks over to Ted.
Joe
I like cookies!

:supermad:
Joe waks ovr too Ted and sez: I lyk kookys!

I think we should stay on one theme instead of wandering too much so I'll put down some guidelines:learn::
1. Stick with the theme.
2. Don't add excessive amounts of characters or settings.
3. Don't go all silly and stupid.
4. Think before you post. Is that new character really necessary?

I'll update the synopsis periodically with your posts.

Theme: How-to Comedy

Synopsis: Joe is having a tough time as a how-to show host. He's trying everything to get people to watch his horrid shows.

Characters:
Joe- Horrible how-to show host. Loves spray paint.

Let the story begin!

[Ladri.]

Joe is showing the new Chop-O-Matic to a studio audience. One of the members of the audience jumps down and shoves Joe's head in the Chop-O-Matic and his head is no more.

THE END! Yay!

[Citrus]

going off ladri's post...

Joe is holding up the Chop-O-Matic to display to his very small audience.

Joe-We've got a caller. Hello, Chevy from New Jersey! You're on the air!

Chevy- Yeah, uhh...I would like to know what exactly the Chop-O-Matic does.

Joe goes blank and starts sweating and shaking. He then frops the Chop-O-Matic on the display table. This activates it and it starts chopping up his tie while he is still trembling.

[Nonsensical studios]

Joe starts screaming.

The stage director looks at the infomercial crew.

Stage Director-Cut to Commercial!

Joe- A little help please!

A stagehand runs out to separate Joe's tie from the Chop-O-Matic

Stagehand-I can't get it out!

[MiniMogul27]

Joe
Help! Maybe I should have used an axe!
Director
Last time you used an axe you nearly died. You're fired!
Joe
Great!

[Citrus]

CUT TO:
EXT. THE STUDIO - DAY

Joe is walking out of the building with a box of belongings tucked under his arm. He looks very cheery. He continues to walk through the parking lot til he gets to his car. He gets his keys out when all of a sudden a man with a gun pops out from behind him.

Man With Gun- Gimme your wallet now!

Joe- (scared shitless) O-o-okay...

Joe reaches into his pocket and brings out a...

[Ladri.]

A banana! Joe repeatedly starts slapping him with the banana.

Joe- What now, bitch? What now!?!

The burglar, having no clue about what just happened, falls to the ground.

Joe rips the gun from his hands...

[MiniMogul27]

A security guard enters from the left.

GUARD
All right Joe, you're under arrest!